I don’t remember the alicorn holding a bottle of farts being there, but I was too busy focusing on my blood splattered reflection in the mirror. I’m not sure if I was wearing a red dress or heels either, but my youngest daughter seems to think I was, so I must have been.
Defuzz The Dome
Four or Five times a week I defuzz my dome. At the start of lockdown in April 2020, I grew my hair for a couple of months. I soon discovered that for your average non-monk, the tonsure style is generally not a good look.
To achieve the smooth cue ball style that I usually sport, I use a razor. As my eldest daughter is constantly encouraging me to make better choices for the environment, she decided that I was swapping my plastic disposable razors, for a metal weapon that assaults my head on a regular basis.
Sweet and Divine, Razor of Mine
Day After Day, Cutting Away
I have a love hate relationship with this razor. I think it is great value for money and environmentally It is a great option too as I recycle the blades, and the handle gets to take up residency in the bathroom. The razor shaves really close and my head ends up exceptionally smooth. If it wasn’t for the spots of blood that dot my scalp after a shave, it would be very rubbable. Most of the cuts are just nicks and only once so far have I sliced a chunk off the back of my head that resembled a potato peeling. This was unpleasant, but I’m still here and still go back for more. Although maybe I might aim for the iconic Bobby Charlton comb over instead.
Should I Buy A Metal Safety Razor?
If you regularly use plastic disposable razors, then yes you should. It’s a good way to minimise plastic waste, and so gets an environmental thumbs up. You may be more skilled at using it than me, and the parts of you that you are shaving might have a nicer landscape than my skull, allowing you to glide with ease rather than planing your flesh.
Tips for Using a Metal Safety Razor
I’m hardly one to give you any tips on this, but from the odd occassions that I have had a bloodless shave I gained the following wisdom:
- Stretch the area you are shaving, thus preventing you cutting into your wrinkly bits
- Rinse the razor a lot. Run water on the holes on the underside to remove all shaving debris.
- Don’t daydream or dance. Focus.
- Don’t allow alicorns or even unicorns with bottles of farts into your bathroom.
- Use a good shaving gel. I use King of Shaves as it is a vegan product (the only animal harmed due to use of this product is the donkey who hasn’t mastered using a metal razor). King of shaves also comes in a metal reusable pump style container.
- Be gentle and take your time.
- If shaving your head, use clippers if your hair is longer than a long stubble, then use the safety razor.
- Don’t be mislead by the word safety.
- Clean and dry it after use as it is metal. Shaving with a rusty razor blade is probably not a good idea. I use a towel on the head (not my head) to detach the head from the body (not my body). This stops me giving my fingers the same treatment that I give my head.
A Picture of the Back of My Bloody Head
